My scans once again don't look great. My docs want to get me in next week for another biopsy, a mediastinoscopy- where an incision is made in my chest and a scope is inserted under my sternum to take out a biopsied tissue of a small mass/tumor. In two weeks they should have the results and I head back in to work out a plan of action.
The appointment went very similarly along the lines of the last one, after which I wrote the "Seriously Bad News" post. However, instead of total shock and overwhelming discouragement, I felt strangely calm today. It was nothing more than I had expected, but definitely not what I had hoped. One doctor used the phrase, "highly suspicious" for cancer recurrence, and he told me he is almost never wrong when he suspects the cancer has returned. But of course we want to see the biopsy results before we plan the treatment. Following that comment the head doc came in and told me it was not the end of the world, that I'd get through it, even though it's a pain in the neck. That I'd get 3 or 4 cycles of the new drug Adcetris, and then do a bone marrow transplant (hoping one of my brothers will be a donor match). I voiced my concerns of the 20% mortality rate associated with a BMT and the doc told me that was ridiculous and outdated- that I was a great candidate because of my youth and relative health, and I'd be fine. At least he tried to be encouraging!
I'm having a hard time facing the possibility of going through all of this again. The stem cell transplant was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life, and a bone marrow transplant is supposed to be more difficult. I would not be able to face it at all if it weren't for my amazing husband and all he does for me and our family. I'm grateful to be receiving treatment from some of the best doctors in the world. I'm especially grateful for the network of friends and family I have to support me and our family through all of this. It IS a pain in the neck, but with the help of family, friends, and faith, we can do it... again.
I'm so sorry you are going through all of this! Man, I hate Cancer. Just HATE it! Your family will be in our prayers. Sure wish we could do more.
ReplyDeleteI had a mediasteinoscopy just a few weeks after I had my son. I went home the same day. It actually healed really fast. I was impressed. They didn't put any stitches on the outside, just glue, so it looks really good. It only shows in the right light. I hope that it all goes well for you. It's amazing what our bodies can handle. You know way more than most people. Thanks for being such a great inspiration!
ReplyDeleteRyan and I will be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteLove you, love you, love you, Tessa. Call on me please - lunch, nails, kids, company, you name it - I'm ready :) Apparently Heavenly Father built you as a modern day wonder woman - as it says He will never give you more than you can handle. Well, it seems limits are being tested. I hope the biopsy comes through clean. And if not, this new treatment sounds promising (albeit uncomfortable). We are always praying for you. May you be lifted up and continue to feel calm and know that your well being is of the utmost concern to your Heavenly Father. Glad to know these doctors are some of the best and hopefully those of us out here can be equally 'great' at being there for you when you need it most. BIG HUGS, Makie
ReplyDeleteOH, Tessa...bless your heart! I just returned from The Purple Stride for Pancan, here in Phoenix and u r in my thoughts. I love that your friend offered up nails and lunch because, really, isn't that all that we girls should have to deal with! You r one tough cookie and your outlook in this post is inspired, at least. I hope u dont mind but I am claiming u as my friend:)
ReplyDeleteTessa, I know there is also a bone marrow registry in case your brothers do not match. I'm on that registry and would be happy to donate to you. Good luck and my prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteEmily Nielson